Ahoy, avast, and welcome aboard the good ship Iris, captained by the host with the most in all of the Seven Seas, Molly Bloom! Molly’s brought producer pals Sanden and Jess on board to play a game of EYE-EYE, CAPTAIN! Sanden and Jess will have to guess the answers to some fiendish questions about EYES. Can they navigate their way to the answers, or will their trivia timbers be shivered? YAAARRR!
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AUDIO TRACK: Now entering Brains On headquarters.
[ELECTRONIC BEEPS AND WHIRS]
[SPLASHES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Ahoy, me hearties. Welcome aboard the good ship Iris, Queen of the Seven Seas. I'm your captain, Molly Bloom. And with me are two of the saltiest sea dogs that ever swabbed a poop deck, Sanden Totten and Jess Miller.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Yar.
JESS MILLER: Arr. Happy to be here.
MOLLY BLOOM: Are you ready to play the traditional seafaring trivia game, Aye Aye, Captain?
SANDEN TOTTEN: Aye Aye captain.
JESS MILLER: Yeah, hit us with them there boat facts, Molly. I mean, Captain. Arr.
MOLLY BLOOM: Boat facts? Oh, no, no, no, no. That's not how we do games aboard this vessel. Didn't you see the thick brows and luxurious eyelashes fitted on the prow of my ship? Or notice the eye test letters printed on her sails and the fact that the portholes are all decorated like fancy monocles?
JESS MILLER: I did wonder about the eyelashes.
MOLLY BLOOM: The game is Eye, Eye, Captain, like the eyes on your face.
JESS MILLER: That makes a lot of sense.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Oh, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: I'm going to ask you some multiple choice questions, all about your peepers. Some optical illusions, if you will. If you get the answers right, you'll be rewarded with a heap of glittering gold coins made of chocolate. Jess, Sanden, are you ready?
JESS MILLER: I'm going for gold. But more importantly, chocolate.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Born ready. I've got eyes on my face, and I'm ready to do this in this place.
[DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Jess. Question one is for you. What is the name of the transparent outer layer of the eye that protects the sensitive inner parts? Is it A, pupil, B, limbus, C, cornea, or D, Steve?
JESS MILLER: I'm very tempted to say Steve, because that's what I call my own outer eye part.
[LAUGHS]
But I think the scientific term is C, cornea.
MOLLY BLOOM: You are correct.
[DINGS]
Your pupil is an opening that takes in light. Without a tough cornea shield to protect it, the human eyeball could easily get hurt or damaged. On to you, Sanden. Your question is, in humans, what is the most common eye color? Is it A, blue, B, brown, C, hazel, or D, green?
SANDEN TOTTEN: Humans. Well, I've definitely heard of those. And I've seen their eyes. I would say the most common eye color is--
--brown?
MOLLY BLOOM: You are correct.
[DINGS]
Well--
SANDEN TOTTEN: Yes!
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes, most animals have brown irises. That's the colored part of the eye. And the mutation that gave us blue eyes didn't happen until fairly recently in human evolution.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Wait, I have blue eyes. Does that mean I'm a mutant?
MOLLY BLOOM: Uh-huh, me, too.
JESS MILLER: I have them, too.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my gosh.
[VOCALIZING]
SANDEN TOTTEN: Sign me up, Xavier. I'm ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. You two are excellent pupils. Sorry. That was a really cornea joke. Jess, here is your second question. Which of these animals do not have eyelids? A, humans. B, elephants. C, goldfish. Or D, eagles?
JESS MILLER: Well, I know I have eyelids, and I am a human. I feel like I've seen elephants' eyelids at the zoo. So I'm going to go with C, goldfish.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my gosh, you are correct again. Way to go.
[DINGS]
JESS MILLER: Yes!
MOLLY BLOOM: And to put a lid on that fascinating fact, did you know that some animals have a third eyelid behind their upper and lower lids? It's called a nictitating membrane. Dogs and cats and sharks and some reptiles and amphibians have them, but we don't.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Oh, bummer. I feel like I could use a nictitating membrane sometimes.
MOLLY BLOOM: It'd go really well with our blue mutant eyes.
SANDEN TOTTEN: I know. Double blink.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Sanden. Are you ready for the final question?
SANDEN TOTTEN: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Here we go. Around 500 years ago, during the Renaissance in Europe, how did fancy ladies make their eyes look extra pretty? A, eyeshadow made from squid ink. B, lightly poisonous eyedrops. C, tiny, tiny eyelash combs. Or D, special blinking exercises invented by Leonardo da Vinci.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Oh my gosh. I love the blinking exercise. I could imagine he's just like, all right, and one, and two, and lift those eyelids up, all right. I think that would be really fun. But I just think the Victorians would probably have tiny, tiny eyelash combs that they would keep in their little probably satchels, they call them. I don't know what. But they would be like, it's time to comb my eyelashes. And they would--
[BEEPING SOUNDS]
And then go blink, blink, blink.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it's an excellent example you just gave, but I am sorry to say the answer is actually B, lightly poisonous eyedrops.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Ooh.
MOLLY BLOOM: The price you pay for beauty.
SANDEN TOTTEN: All right.
MOLLY BLOOM: So they had-- have you heard of nightshade?
SANDEN TOTTEN: Yeah, like poisonous plants, right? A group of plants. I think tomatoes fall into that. You can't eat their leaves.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes. So there's a kind of plant specifically called nightshade that can be poisonous to humans in high enough quantities. But they would just do a diluted nightshade formula, and it would make the pupils relax. So this gave them wide, dark pupils, which was supposedly a sign of attraction.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Wow.
MOLLY BLOOM: And the plant nightshade in Italian is actually called belladonna, which means beautiful lady.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Wow. Poisoning yourself to be pretty.
MOLLY BLOOM: Nothing's changed.
[LAUGHS]
Wow, you two, that was great. I feel like time passed in the blink of an eye, because we were having so much fun. I'll share my treasure chest of chocolate gold coins with both of you.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
And that's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by Aron Woldeslassie, edited by Sanden Totten, and produced by Lauren Humbert. Our executive producer is Beth Perlman, and the APM studios executives-in-charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Brains On is a non-profit public radio program. Thank you, Smarty Pass friends, for your support.
JESS MILLER: See you later.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Bye.
[ELECTRONIC BEEPS AND WHIRS]
[SPLASHES]
MOLLY BLOOM: Ahoy, me hearties. Welcome aboard the good ship Iris, Queen of the Seven Seas. I'm your captain, Molly Bloom. And with me are two of the saltiest sea dogs that ever swabbed a poop deck, Sanden Totten and Jess Miller.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Yar.
JESS MILLER: Arr. Happy to be here.
MOLLY BLOOM: Are you ready to play the traditional seafaring trivia game, Aye Aye, Captain?
SANDEN TOTTEN: Aye Aye captain.
JESS MILLER: Yeah, hit us with them there boat facts, Molly. I mean, Captain. Arr.
MOLLY BLOOM: Boat facts? Oh, no, no, no, no. That's not how we do games aboard this vessel. Didn't you see the thick brows and luxurious eyelashes fitted on the prow of my ship? Or notice the eye test letters printed on her sails and the fact that the portholes are all decorated like fancy monocles?
JESS MILLER: I did wonder about the eyelashes.
MOLLY BLOOM: The game is Eye, Eye, Captain, like the eyes on your face.
JESS MILLER: That makes a lot of sense.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Oh, yeah.
MOLLY BLOOM: I'm going to ask you some multiple choice questions, all about your peepers. Some optical illusions, if you will. If you get the answers right, you'll be rewarded with a heap of glittering gold coins made of chocolate. Jess, Sanden, are you ready?
JESS MILLER: I'm going for gold. But more importantly, chocolate.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Born ready. I've got eyes on my face, and I'm ready to do this in this place.
[DINGS]
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Jess. Question one is for you. What is the name of the transparent outer layer of the eye that protects the sensitive inner parts? Is it A, pupil, B, limbus, C, cornea, or D, Steve?
JESS MILLER: I'm very tempted to say Steve, because that's what I call my own outer eye part.
[LAUGHS]
But I think the scientific term is C, cornea.
MOLLY BLOOM: You are correct.
[DINGS]
Your pupil is an opening that takes in light. Without a tough cornea shield to protect it, the human eyeball could easily get hurt or damaged. On to you, Sanden. Your question is, in humans, what is the most common eye color? Is it A, blue, B, brown, C, hazel, or D, green?
SANDEN TOTTEN: Humans. Well, I've definitely heard of those. And I've seen their eyes. I would say the most common eye color is--
--brown?
MOLLY BLOOM: You are correct.
[DINGS]
Well--
SANDEN TOTTEN: Yes!
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes, most animals have brown irises. That's the colored part of the eye. And the mutation that gave us blue eyes didn't happen until fairly recently in human evolution.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Wait, I have blue eyes. Does that mean I'm a mutant?
MOLLY BLOOM: Uh-huh, me, too.
JESS MILLER: I have them, too.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my gosh.
[VOCALIZING]
SANDEN TOTTEN: Sign me up, Xavier. I'm ready.
MOLLY BLOOM: Wow. You two are excellent pupils. Sorry. That was a really cornea joke. Jess, here is your second question. Which of these animals do not have eyelids? A, humans. B, elephants. C, goldfish. Or D, eagles?
JESS MILLER: Well, I know I have eyelids, and I am a human. I feel like I've seen elephants' eyelids at the zoo. So I'm going to go with C, goldfish.
MOLLY BLOOM: Oh my gosh, you are correct again. Way to go.
[DINGS]
JESS MILLER: Yes!
MOLLY BLOOM: And to put a lid on that fascinating fact, did you know that some animals have a third eyelid behind their upper and lower lids? It's called a nictitating membrane. Dogs and cats and sharks and some reptiles and amphibians have them, but we don't.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Oh, bummer. I feel like I could use a nictitating membrane sometimes.
MOLLY BLOOM: It'd go really well with our blue mutant eyes.
SANDEN TOTTEN: I know. Double blink.
MOLLY BLOOM: OK, Sanden. Are you ready for the final question?
SANDEN TOTTEN: Yes.
MOLLY BLOOM: Here we go. Around 500 years ago, during the Renaissance in Europe, how did fancy ladies make their eyes look extra pretty? A, eyeshadow made from squid ink. B, lightly poisonous eyedrops. C, tiny, tiny eyelash combs. Or D, special blinking exercises invented by Leonardo da Vinci.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Oh my gosh. I love the blinking exercise. I could imagine he's just like, all right, and one, and two, and lift those eyelids up, all right. I think that would be really fun. But I just think the Victorians would probably have tiny, tiny eyelash combs that they would keep in their little probably satchels, they call them. I don't know what. But they would be like, it's time to comb my eyelashes. And they would--
[BEEPING SOUNDS]
And then go blink, blink, blink.
MOLLY BLOOM: Well, it's an excellent example you just gave, but I am sorry to say the answer is actually B, lightly poisonous eyedrops.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Ooh.
MOLLY BLOOM: The price you pay for beauty.
SANDEN TOTTEN: All right.
MOLLY BLOOM: So they had-- have you heard of nightshade?
SANDEN TOTTEN: Yeah, like poisonous plants, right? A group of plants. I think tomatoes fall into that. You can't eat their leaves.
MOLLY BLOOM: Yes. So there's a kind of plant specifically called nightshade that can be poisonous to humans in high enough quantities. But they would just do a diluted nightshade formula, and it would make the pupils relax. So this gave them wide, dark pupils, which was supposedly a sign of attraction.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Wow.
MOLLY BLOOM: And the plant nightshade in Italian is actually called belladonna, which means beautiful lady.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Wow. Poisoning yourself to be pretty.
MOLLY BLOOM: Nothing's changed.
[LAUGHS]
Wow, you two, that was great. I feel like time passed in the blink of an eye, because we were having so much fun. I'll share my treasure chest of chocolate gold coins with both of you.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
And that's it for this Smarty Pass episode. It was made by Aron Woldeslassie, edited by Sanden Totten, and produced by Lauren Humbert. Our executive producer is Beth Perlman, and the APM studios executives-in-charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Brains On is a non-profit public radio program. Thank you, Smarty Pass friends, for your support.
JESS MILLER: See you later.
SANDEN TOTTEN: Bye.
Transcription services provided by 3Play Media.
